Secrets of the New Mom Sisterhood: Help a Mama Out

Posted on November 26, 2012 by Jenn

I recently received a phone call in the middle of a workday for a girlfriend of mine who is beginning to think about starting a family. She has a very tony job working in public relations for chic museums and is not at all fond of personal calls during work- with the exception of the time she abruptly interrupted a chemistry lab I was teaching early in her career with an emergency call about whether or not she should wear brown leather accessories with a black outfit because it had been done so successfully by “Buffy the Vampire Slayer during a really great season!”- so I assumed that the impending conversation would be important… or at least memorable.

“Quick!” she said. ”What is the MOST important advice you have about being a new mom that no one talks about that you wish you had known? Be honest.”

I was honestly unsure if this was her was of telling me she was expecting, or if she was trying to wrap her micromanaging mind around the unknowns of motherhood and I know that she measures every decision by weighing every fact (good, bad, or ugly) so I decided to lay it on her…

“It’s normal to want to strangle you husband for several months post partum, even though he knows your in hormone hell he will probably still think you are just plain crazy, and a diaper sprayer will be your best friend when you go to the restroom for several weeks after delivering. But as long as you can remind yourself that others people are facing the exact same thing and you aren’t a crazy person, it’s all okay!”

“Seriously…,” she sighed. “I can’t write THAT in a card for a coworker! I need the inside track on some pretty advice.”

“Oh, well is she planning to breastfeed?”

“Yes.”

“Get her a Camelbak water bottle that is spill proof but easy to use with one hand and a box of KIND or Lara Bars to go with the card and remind her to always find a time to have a healthy snack.”

“Much prettier. Thanks!”

The conversation made me immediately thankful for the expert advice Bump Club and Beyond placed at my fingertips when I began my adventures in motherhood. Although I had purchased and read so many pregnancy and parenting books our condo was becoming a mini reference library, the opportunity to ask questions and hear each expert made the advice real instead of dealing with what sometimes feels so abstract in written form.

Past my due date and about 20 hours before going into labor- I was so thankful to have my BCB friends to keep me sane!

Even more importantly, events provided opportunities to connect with other women who were willing to share their experiences and helped me to eliminate the feeling that I wasn’t normal. Women who were ready to talk or ready to listen. I didn’t realize the true value of this community until very soon after I gave birth to Baby N.

I remember my early outings to the park with Newborn N on days that I hadn’t arranged to meet one of my new BCB mama friends for a chat- sometimes I would just push her pram in circles around the park in a deliriously tired state. On the very-rare-but-existent-unbearably-tough days I would sit down on the park bench near the playground and engage in a meaningless conversation with a mom I didn’t know very well in which I would inevitably lie and say that new motherhood was perfect, and that I was sleeping, and that I’d never been happier or more confident while I hid my teary eyes with sunglasses. And the mom I didn’t know very well would inevitably respond that yes, new motherhood was amazing, and perfect, and that she remembered always being happy too and that toddlerhood was even better and more perfect through an exasperated smile as she sprung from the bench to wrangle her toddler who was trying to scale the outside of the play structure.

I was still afraid of not looking like a good mom- and I think she was still afraid of not looking like a good mom. But how I wish we could have sat there for a moment on those days and said “Hey, you know what? Today sucks! I know things will be better tomorrow, but today being a mom is really hard.” I bet we would have both left the park to return to our respective homes calmer and more confident. Seriously, what did we really have to prove to one another?

Sometimes mamas need the playdate more than the babies do!

These meaningless exchanges in the park with my un-friend made my beautiful BCB friends seem all the more valuable. I was infinitely thankful that Rainbow shared that one of her friends who had recently had a child said it was totally normal to get frustrated with you husband for the first year, that Stephanie was willing to openly discuss that fact that we both had babies who were enthusiastic and frequent criers amidst the sea of sleeping newborns we were constantly surrounded with, that Karen and I could laugh about how our bladders could betray us early on in yoga, and that Claire was ready to engage everyone in discussions about their opinions of post-partum sex lives. Because being a mom makes you more of a human, not less of one even though we become dramatically less likely to focus on our own needs.

Consequently, even though the park I now frequent has changed dramatically from Millenium Park on the shores of lake Michigan, any time I’m joined on a bench while watching N play by mama out for a stroll with her newborn I find a way to mention the fact that sweet Toddler N gave me my fair share of rough newborn days. And 99% of those conversations end with new friend hugs and a confident shrug of the shoulders that “Hey, being a mom is really tough some days!”

Motherhood is a sisterhood in the most intuitive and natural sense. Let’s make initiation as easy as possible for our new members, okay? Share your knowledge, share your trails and- most importantly- share the joy honestly.

In honor or BCB Austin’s Secrets of the New Mom Sisterhood event this week, I’ll be sharing one of my own mama secrets each dat this week. Need help connecting with your own network of sister-mamas and experts? Join BCB for the next expectant event in your city.

Austin
Wednesday, November 28th 7-9:30 pm:
Secrets of the New Mom Sisterhood
What everyone is thinking but no one is saying — join us for an exclusive BCB Panel complete with a Labor and Delivery Nurse, Midwife, Therapists, and more as they provide candid advice on what to really expect. This dinner is designed to answer your most pressing questions about having a baby! Register here. Even better, use the code CYBERMONDAY2012 for 10% off tickets on 10.26.12

Chicago
Tuesday, December 11, 2012, 6:30-8:30pm:
EXPECTANT COUPLES DINNER
Baby Gear Safety with our Resident Experts, The Safety Squad. Register here.

Twin Cities
Tuesday, December 11, 2012 from 6:30 PM
Birth Centers, Midwives and Doulas… OH MY!
Join Bump Club and Beyond for an evening learning about Birth Centers, Midwives, Doulas(birth and postpartum), and the transition in to parenthood! Register here.

Best Birthday Gift: 4+ Years

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Jenn

Okay so technically our birthday month is over at BCB Austin, but we would be remiss to wrap things up without sharing the very best go-to gifts for kids four years and older thanks to our friends at Brilliant Sky Toys and Books.

Top picks for 4+ year olds:

1) Red Toolbox Junior Candy Maze Kit

This Red Toolbox, Junior project, Candy Maze, is for the youngest children and works best with a high level of parental support. Skills required include assembly, gluing, hammering and filing. Painting and decorating is optional and the crafts to be built are toys that would appeal to younger children. Crank the handle to dispense the candy. Red Toolbox is a new, groundbreaking concept in the world of DIY, offering parents and kids the opportunity to spend valuable time together while learning new skills.

$13.99

2) Learning Resources Primary Lab Set

These real science tools are perfectly sized for little hands! Put this powerful assortment of resources right to work with the accompanying selection of hands–on science activity cards. Provides accurate measurement markings to support rigorous investigations
Encourages inquiry with 10 double–sided Activity Cards that reinforce science process skills, living and nonliving things, physical science, senses and more. Includes durable, unbreakable beaker, magnifying glass, funnel, eyedropper, flask, tweezers, goggles, large 6″ test tube and stand, 2 small test tubes with lids and stand, plus an Activity Guide

$30.99

3) Ogo Sport

Encourage active play and exercise with the Ogo Sport! Age ranges span from young children ages 4+ to grandparents. Ogo is a flying disc that catches and throws balls up to 150′. Adapts to many sports such as volleyball, baseball, and tennis, floats on water, and is even awesome with water balloons. Unlimited possibilities for inventive, active play. Ogo allows for open-ended exploration and experimentation, opportunities for both indoor and outdoor play, and benefits for therapy and children with special needs.

$30.99

Looking for gifts for younger kiddos? Check out our features on gifts for 6-12 month olds, 1 year olds, 2 year olds, and 3 year olds. Be sure to pin these pages so you’re prepared for your next party!

Visit our friends at Brilliant Sky at The Village at Westlake (360 and Bee Caves Road) (512) 347-TOYS. Sanity saving tip: The Brilliant Sky crew is famous in my mama circle for taking child preference info over the phone and greeting time-crunched mamas curb side with the perfect gift-wrapped present!

Best Birthday Gifts: 3-4 years

Posted on October 26, 2012 by Jenn

Our minds are all on dress up as Halloween approaches, but our friends at Brilliant Sky have your little fairies and super heroes covered year round!

Halloween is right around the corner… which means the holiday season is ramping up! To add just a little more merry to the festivities, Bump Club and Beyond is continuing to celebrate its first birthday along with the birth of it’s new sister city in Twin Cities. We’re also helping you celebrate the birthday’s of your special pint sized buddies in style by featuring the most coveted birthday gifts on the market. Thanks to experienced mama Maya Pomroy at brilliant Sky Toys and Books, we have suggestions to help you freshen up your gift giving stash with toys that are developmentally appropriate and will stand the test of time. (Don’t blame us if all of a sudden you’re on every party guest list!)

This week, Maya shares her go to gifts for 3-4 years:

1) EDTOY Bulldozer

The Magnamobile Bulldozer from EDTOY is no snooze: this sleek, innovative little ‘dozer for kids has tons of play value. Not only is it a rolling toy bulldozer with a working bucket that can be raised and lowered, but it also can be taken apart and reconfigured! Magnamobiles feature “rotating magnet technology” which enables the pieces to connect with enough stability to result in a working vehicle that can roll, carry, or dig, but makes the pieces easy enough to detach that a preschooler can handle the task.

$25.99

2) Honey Bee Tree Game

Players choose their numbered flower trays and then pull leaves out of the honey tree, being careful not to wake the sleeping bees! If you pull out the wrong leaf, the bees come tumbling out. Try to “bee” the winner by having the least amount of bees in your flower tray!

$20.99

3) Reversible Spiderman Batman Cape and Hood

Your superhero will be doubly thrilled with this reversible cape! Red spider print and satin with black panne spiders is on one side of cape. Black satin with bat logo on opposite side of cape. Matching hood available too.

$30.99 Cape

$10.99 Hood

Visit Maya and her sensational staff at The Village at Westlake (360 and Bee Caves Road) (512) 347-TOYS. Sanity saving tip: The Brilliant Sky crew is famous in my mama circle for taking child preference info over the phone and greeting time-crunched mamas curb side with the perfect gift-wrapped present!

Best Birthday Gifts: 2-3 Years

Posted on October 19, 2012 by Jenn

We love a good party at Bump Club and Beyond… and we know that you do too! But with the crazy party calendar our teeny socialites keep we are guessing that you’ve been to more Big Red Barn themed parties in the past six months than you ever thought possible… AND chances are your friends have all caught on to the fact that you’re the one who gives everyone an Eric Carle anthology by default. Great books no doubt, but it’s time to shake things up. Thanks to experienced mama Maya Pomroy at Brilliant Sky Toys and Books, we have suggestions to help you freshen up your gift giving stash with toys that are developmentally appropriate and will stand the test of time. (Don’t blame us if all of a sudden you’re on every party guest list!)

This week, Maya shares her go to gifts for 2-3 years:

1) Sidney the School Bus

Shape sorting fun to help early years development. Sort the six packages by shape and colour, then retrieve them using the ‘magic’ WOW button. Load-up Sidney and play the role of bus driver. Safe for babies of 12 months and up. Introduces many features of the WOW World range at this early stage to stimulate learning and long-lasting developmental fun.

$32.99

2) Hoops for The Tub

Little squirts will have a ball in the bath with a basketball net and 3 squirting balls! The suction cup rim with mesh net mounts easily to smooth surfaces for endless tub fun.

$12.99

3) Munch It! Fix It! Sets

—The most familiar foods to toddlers. Invite early dramatic play, build vocabulary, model meal-time routines and more with soft, durable plastic foods. Toddler (ages 2+). Set of 21.

–Big fix-it fun for the smallest fixer uppers. Encourage early imaginative play with chunky tools made from durable, soft plastic. Includes saw, hammer, screwdriver, wrench, drill (with sound) and tool box.

$24.99Did you miss our feature on gifts for 6-12 months or 12-24 months? Be sure to check them out and bookmark them for future reference!

Leah’s Story: Getting Caught up in the Milestones

Posted on October 17, 2012 by Jenn

Leah is a first time mom to an adorable little boy as well as a Super Mom for Bump Club Austin. We are lucky to have mom’s like Leah willing to share their stories about the challenges we can face in motherhood:

From the moment you get pregnant, the development of your baby is measured in milestones. 8 weeks pregnant? Your chance of miscarriage reduces dramatically and you should hear a heartbeat. 12 weeks? First big sonogram. 20 weeks? Anatomy sonogram and you’re half way through. 28 weeks? Lungs are developed and baby would most likely survive a premature birth. 37 weeks? Clinically full term. The hope is that you glide through each milestone without any big news and around 40 weeks your perfect baby enters the world.

The milestones start over when the baby arrives. After a long pregnancy we are familiar with the milestone routine, so it shouldn’t be a big deal, right? Wrong. The difference is that these baby milestones are combined with mommy guilt and comparison to our peers. Didn’t quite get back to birth weight at 2 weeks? Didn’t smile at 6 weeks? Not sitting up at 6 months? The list continues with eating solids, crawling, walking, talking, etc. All of the experts attach the appropriate timeframe for each milestone, and if your baby misses this given window, we start to worry. Is there something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Most likely the answer is NO! Each baby is different and has his or her own schedule.

Like most first time moms, I anxiously awaited each milestone timing and copiously tracked when my son met each one. We had a rocky start. Breastfeeding was not working, and he was losing too much weight in the first week. Fortunately, a quick call to my lactation consultant eased my concerns and got us back on track; we simply needed to supplement with formula.

The early weight issues were nothing compared to the crawling and walking milestones for my son. According to the experts, he had surpassed the normal timeframe for those accomplishments, and it required action. Let me explain. My son was breach for the last several weeks in utero, with his head jammed between ribs. At about 2-months-old his doctor noticed that his head was slightly misshapen, so we were referred to a cranial specialist. He was soon fitted with a cranial band (baby helmet), which he wore for 10 weeks and now has a beautifully shaped head. These 10 weeks were in months 5-7, or in milestone terminology, prime tummy time phase. We did as much tummy time as we could, but when you’re a baby with a helmet strapped to your head, it’s not that much fun and very hard.

I thought when the helmet came off he would quickly catch up to his baby peers. Rolling over would happen immediately and he would take off crawling soon. Instead he took his time. He took the time he needed to build his core muscles and coordination, and finally took off crawling just shy of 11 months. I found myself going into a long explanation with every mom I met about why he wasn’t crawling. In retrospect, all of the explaining was really for me, trying to convince myself that his delayed milestone had a reason, that he was okay. I’m pretty sure I was the only one needing the convincing, the milestone pressure was getting to me.

Now my son is 17-months-old, and he started walking about two weeks ago. You guessed it, way past the normal 9-15 month timeframe. Fortunately I’ve mellowed in my milestone tracking. Waiting to walk made sense – he needed a few months of crawling time and since he’s not the most daring baby, he waited to walk until he was confident and ready.

It took me almost a year and a half to learn that the milestone calendar serves an important roll to gauge our babies’ development, but it shouldn’t be taken so literally. Most babies will meet each milestone, in their own way and on their own schedule. Next up? Talking. For now, I’m going to let him walk and babble to his heart’s content.

Best Birthday Gifts: 12-24 months

Posted on October 16, 2012 by Jenn

**** Jenn’s Apology- Thanks to our friends at Brilliant Sky, we’ve got a month worth of amazing birthday gift suggestions to bring you each Friday… yet somehow the internet fairies decided to play tricks on me while I was away running a marathon and the rest of the BCB team was heading to ACB Expo to find the newest, most fabulous things for your families and this just didn’t post last Friday! The good news is, this week you get two days of great birthday gift ideas. Thank you for your patience!***

If you’ve somehow missed it, October is a month of celebration for BCB. (Seriously… if you’ve really missed it, check out all three BCB facebook pages- Austin, Chicago, and Twin Cities- and make sure you are signed up to receive your city’s newsletter. You DO NOT want to miss all that is going on!) Thanks to Maya Pomroy- mompreneur and gift giving genius- at Brilliant Sky Toys and Books, we are sharing some of the very best toys and gifts for each developmental age group.

This week, Maya shares her go to gifts for 12-24 Months:

1) Pewi Y-Bike Walker

Baby N proved the Y-Bike is totally irresistible to 18 month olds. It was impossible to snap a photo of it without her enjoying a ride!

Pewi is a new innovative “Walking Buddy/Ride-on for the toddler market”. Beginning as young as 9 months Pewi is the coolest, sleekest walker around. However, unlike traditional Walkers on the market where the child is typically sitting in the walker the Pewi actually enhances body and space awareness. In a traditional walker a child does not learn to fall as he or she typically just sits or hangs in the unit. With the Pewi the Child stands freely in front of Pewi using it only as an aid.

This item comes in three colors: Pink, Blue or Red.

$69.99

2) Caterpillar Gears Toy by Melissa & Doug

Turn the gears slowly and watch each interlocking segment move the next, or see how fast your child can make the caterpillar “crawl” on the wooden base. This rainbow-colored gear toy is hands-on fun at any speed! With their bulky, notched shape, the colorful gears are easy for children to fit onto the color-coordinated pegs . . . then rotate, remove and rearrange. Toddlers will be fascinated by the colors and movement of this charming toy.

$9.99

3) Funtime Tractor

The Funtime Tractor features 5 animal friends that stand in the trailer and make animal sounds when placed in their appropriate spots. Press the funnel to hear realistic engine sounds and then the tractor rolls along for 10 seconds! Push the driver to hear a fun melody, and you can also push the steering wheel to hear a horn sound. This small toy for kids is not only fun, but it is also a learning tool for them to teach themselves about different shapes and sounds.

$39.99

Did you miss our feature on gifts for 6-12 months? Check it out here.

When the big day comes… I’m Ready

Posted on October 10, 2012 by Jenn

One good luck kiss and then it’s go time! (Photo courtesy of Bumps to Babies Photography)

In a few days I’m doing something big. Something that’s not about me at all yet is simultaneously wholly about me. I’ve planned for it, worked for it, and compulsively prepared for it. I’ve read books and blogs about how to best prepare myself for my big day. I’ve changed the way I eat and adjusted my fitness routine. I’ve commiserated with other women in my position on rough days, and I’ve consulted my virtual support network in the dead of night when I have a weird unexplained pain or craving. I have family coming in town to help with N so she is well cared for during the excitement. And I’ve talked obsessively about this moment and the experience I’ve had leading up to it with every poor person who has sat still long enough for me to burden them with my unbridled, nervous excitement.

We’re all moms or moms-to-be here, so you totally get where I’m going with this, right?

In two days I’m leaving to tackle the San Francisco Nike Women’s Marathon.

Wait… what?

Sounded eerily familiar, didn’t it?

As first time moms or moms-to-be, we embarked on a journey that was life altering and life strengthening. We made ourselves better as we endeavored to make the world a better place for our budding little ones. We learned about sacrifice, we learned about life, and we learned about facilitating growth and change. And we have the power to continue forward all of our days with the same strength and fervor born in us the moment we felt the stirring of connection to the tiny being we prepared to greet with unbridled, nervous excitement.

Photo courtesy of Bumps to Babies Photography

We have learned a lesson in motherhood that more than half of the population will never have the benefit of learning from experience, but it doesn’t stop there. We now have the power of applying those same lessons and the same inexpressible joy over to any number of goals we want to achieve. We have the secret benefit of being unstoppable as soon as we allow ourselves to find our stride and settle into our correct pace.

We only get so many miles in life- it’s what we do with them that counts

In my own personal life, running has given that to me. It’s helped me recapture all of the good intentions that I incubated for 40 weeks as I awaited my transition to motherhood. It’s helped me get out of my head on early morning training runs after late sleepless nights and arrive home ready to care for my family invigorated. It’s helped me to set goals that are solely mine yet far greater than me alone. And it’s helped me give birth to the happier, healthier, more purpose-driven mama that was inside of me.

We all have it in us. There is something we are passionate about outside of our mama personas. We just have to allow ourselves to grasp ahold of it amidst the happy chaos of our daily lives and not lose sight of it once we have it. And we have to give ourselves permission to pursue and achieve our goals.

Photo courtesy of Kerry Gray Photography

Remember, we’ve given birth to beautiful babies- introduced a new life into this world. In all other things we can unquestionably continue to be victorious.

Best Birthday Gifts: 6-12 months

Posted on October 5, 2012 by Jenn

This month we’re celebrating BCB Austin’s first birthday and as you’ve already seen, we are doing so by showering YOU with gifts! But all of this gifting got me thinking about birthday gifts for all those birthday parties that inevitably begin to pepper your weekend calendar as the mama- seriously… Baby N has a far richer social life than I could ever dream of- and made me realize that since I’ve dropped a small fortune in the past year and a half on gifts for pint sized partiers that I would like to ensure that I’m getting the very best developmentally appropriate bang for my birthday gift buck!

Enter Maya Pomroy from Brilliant Sky Toys and Books in Austin Westlake. It’s no secret that we love mamas at BCB, so when we find a great mama owned business we swoon… and when that mama has two adorable little girls and owns a fanciful and enriching toy store stocked with hand picked merchandise representing the very best the industry has to offer, we’re in full on knee-buckling faint mode!

Maya has been kind enough to offer of her “go to” selections for ages 6-12 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, and 4+ years in a segment each Friday this month! I’m super excited about his series because Baby N and I get permission to spend extra time in this mini wonderland whose motto is “Find Your Way To Play” while getting to know a dynamic local mompreneur. Be sure to check back every Friday this month for Maya’s expert picks- and bookmark these pages for birthdays to come!

Without further delay… Here are Maya’s Go-To Picks for 6-12 moths:

1) Sophie the Giraffe

Known as the World’s Most Famous Teething Toy, Sophie is phthalates and BPA free and made of 100% Natural Rubber and food paint. This teether stimulates baby’s hearing with an amusing squeaky sound and helps for baby to understand the link between cause and effect.

$24.99

2) Neurosmith’s Sunshine Symphony

Winner of multiple awards including the prestigious Oppenheimer Award, the motion activated Sunshine Symphony features four fully orchestrated classical compositions played in high quality digital sound. Compositions include Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf, Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker, Handel’s Water Music, and Mozart’s Piano Sonata in C Major.

In addition to a continuous play mode, Sunshine Symphony’s interactive mode enables baby to control his or her musical experience. A soft baby touch anywhere on the toy activates the first half of a classical composition played on a single instrument such as a piano, flute, horn, or violin.

$43.99

3) Baby GeoMags

Swiss-made Gbaby has simple ergonomic forms and soft touch edges that your baby will love. It helps infants develop their motor skills, sound and touch senses and is also well-suited for teething. Pieces provide a rattling sound when shaken, and attract or repel as if by magic. Includes 8 spherical and 2 round magnetic shapes and 9 soft rubber animals. These are bathtub and dishwasher safe.

$45.99

4) Press N Go Inchworm

Press the Inchworm to see it zoom! Colorful moving beads in wheels. Rubberized wheels for better grip and easy travel. This toy encourages little ones to crawl after it! For ages 9 months and up.

$17.99

Sleep Struggles: My Confession

Posted on October 4, 2012 by Jenn

I feel confident that I do many things very well as a mom and it is easy- and fun- to share my experiences on these topics. Fitness, nutrition, developmental play…. no problem! But there is a topic I squirm out of quickly when it comes up because it’s where my confidence dies- Sleep. Getting Baby N to sleep, particularly at naptime, has never been my forte and can still present particular challenges and elevate my heart rate.

I’ve always felt the safest with Baby N asleep in my arms. It was one of the hardest habits I had to break. (Photo courtesy of Bumps to Babies Photography)

I don’t have any real excuses, though I’m quick to employ a cache of them at will. I’ve had access to expert advice, the best gear, and sage mama wisdom most people would pay unlimited sums to experience. I’ve been known to passively site bed sharing, attachment parenting, and Baby N’s natural inclination to fight large quantities of sleep as the scapegoats for my own timid and tentative attitude about standing firm on sleep. The truth is- though bed sharing and attachment parenting rule out some of the more standard methods of sleep training, they don’t preclude sleep training and by using them as an excuse I could have sent wrong message to people about those parenting methods. And just because N seems to need less sleep than the average baby (which is much the same way I’ve always been) doesn’t mean she isn’t entitled to and deserving of the most successful sleep routines possible.

Admittedly, my less than positive sleep attitude is fueled by my own nighttime reticence built from a scary experience. When N was a newborn, we constructed a sleeping environment for her that embodied every safe sleeping technique currently endorsed by the AAP- no bumpers, circulating air, perfect monitored room temperature, nothing in the crib or bassinet, no loose fitting clothes, with baby positioned on her back in the center of the crib-yet at four months I found her in the middle of the night not breathing and briefly unresponsive… on her back… in the middle of the crib… in “perfect” sleep conditions. The episode was labeled an ATLE (Apparent Life Threatening Event) and after days in the hospital we were dismissed without any answers… and with the looming (and probably irrational) fear that it could happen to my precious baby any time her eyes closed again.

Enter bed sharing, clip on breathing monitors, and considerable insomnia on my part.

I needed TO KNOW that Baby N was breathing at all times.

I needed experiential evidence.

And I managed to drive myself a little bit crazy and give myself permission for bad habits to develop.

As time has gone on and Baby N has matured long past the window of SIDS prevalence, I’ve started to force myself to face the fact that my irrational fear was masquerading behind my standard sleep excuses. We’ve slowly begun to establish (and adhere to) a fabulous bedtime routine and have transferred N to the crib in her room where she sleeps far more dreamily than when she was beside me. I’ve also called myself on the carpet over naptime (the most difficult of sleep ordeals for me) and come to grips that having N nap snuggled in my lap can be an adorable treat sometimes but cannot be the default sleep location.

Naps on mom should be sweet accidents and not the norm. I know this… why is it so hard to make myself comply?

Through our renewed commitment to sleep, we’ve seen success. And we’ve hit lucky patches along the way- the transition to the crib was pretty uneventful because Baby N had long been communicating to her hard-headed mama that she was ready for her own sleeping space. And we’ve been celebrating all of our little triumphs- Monday I successfully transferred a sleeping N from her car seat to the crib for a long nap for the first time instead of letting her finish the nap in my lap… and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more capable then I did at that moment!

I’ve learned two very simple lessons from this experience: A) Don’t let fear decide your parenting methods and B) Don’t fight good advice from a trusted source. While there is no one right way to approach sleep training (or anything in parenting, for that matter) you will easily be able to find an expert resource, a book, or even an experienced friend whose advice jives with your parenting style and agrees with common sense. When you find that resource, heed their advice… even if it is tough to get started. Accept help from your parenting village- because someday you will undoubtedly get the opportunity to return the favor to another mom in need of direction.

Looking to find expert help in the Chicago or Austin area? On October 10^th BCB comes to your rescue with the very best experts each city has to offer!

In Austin, 7-9 pm: BCB Resident Infant Sleep Expert, Katie Bartley will teach Mamas-to-be, Moms AND Dads how to create peace of mind with successful sleep schedules. She’ll highlight newborn sleep safety, typical sleep problems, solutions, and more. Purchase tickets here

In Chicago, 6-8:30pm: Monthly Expectant Mom Dinner-Newborn Sleep Safety with Janeen Hayward from Swellbeing and Preparing your Safe, Healthy and Organic Nursery with Meredith from Sprout San Francisco. Purchase tickets here

Pre-Potty Training: “Excuse me… but is that a Loo in your Living Room?”

Posted on September 21, 2012 by Jenn

Something very important is happening at our house. It’s the kind of thing you never dream you will discuss before you think about having children. The kind of thing you PROMISE yourself you wont discuss online or in public once you’re pregnant. The kind of thing you can’t wait to shout from the rooftops once you’re there… Baby N is potty training!

Watering can? Baby N is working on potty training at an abstract level.

Okay- full disclosure- eighteen month old Baby N is actually pre-potty training… which is most likely a term I’ve made up to describe the very loose approach we are taking to this milestone. Several months ago, N started pulling down her diaper so she could tee-tee on the floor in an effort to keep herself nice and clean which prompted me to think ‘Hmmmm… Maybe we should capitalize on this?’ so we started making some changes to accommodate her new desire to stay clean.

As great as the urge was within me, I didn’t go all out and commit to the three day potty boot camp this early on because I have learned better with N’s personality- I had fairly successfully infant potty trained N when we were still in Chicago (that’s a comical subject for another day!) but she fervently refused to employ even a smidge of her potty know-how once we moved her to Texas at six months of age. Instead, we have made subtle, gentle changes to set Baby N up for potty success at her own pace. We transitioned Baby N to pull up style training pants to better accommodate her own diaper removal, we started a running potty dialogue, and- most noticeably- we’ve turned our home into a veritable little potty museum to help make N comfortable with the potty. There is a little potty next to each adult potty along with a potty proudly sitting in the middle of our open concept living space.

Now… when a person decides to place a potty in the middle of the living room that they intend for a wayward toddler to actively use, there are definitely some things to consider. Given the “hostess with the mostess” status that I aspire to attain, I like to maintain a home that can accommodate company at a moment’s notice which meant we needed a potty that didn’t scream…well… “Hey, I’m a Potty!” (And I mean that pretty literally because I don’t know how much little potty shopping you might have done but there are some bizarre singing, dancing potties on the market akin to theme park ride seating! Not exactly living room friendly.) Enter the Joovy Loo…

potty chair, potty training, bump club, Joovy

Sleek, stylish, and unassuming- The Joovy Loo takes modern potty training to a new level

The Loo is an obvious aesthetic winner in the training potty category, but looks aren’t worth much if they can’t perform their function and I feel that this is where the Loo really shines. I have a potty IN MY LIVING SPACE which means sometimes we triumphantly celebrate my little one going potty IN MY LIVING SPACE and then are tasked with clean up IN MY LIVING SPACE. The Loo has a lift out bowl with a generous capacity complete with a no-touch handle that keeps me clean while I take the evidence of Baby N’s success to the bathroom for further cleanup. It also has a stable, non-slip base which prevents tipping (and spilling) as my little one gets up- excited by her success.

Since we are pre-potty training (there’s my made up term again) right now and not forcing the issue, I’m most pleased with the fact that Baby N finds the Loo to be comfortable. She will often sit on it to read, stack her blocks in the- sanitized- bowl, or place her dolls on it so that they can use the potty.

Poor Baby Elmo- It looks like he might have fallen in! At least he looks comfortable.

Occasionally, I find her standing in the potty which is another reason I’m thankful for the sturdy, non-skid base.

If you have a toddler, this will seem like totally normal behavior.

And pretty frenquently, I’ll find the Loo in unexpected places as Baby N incorporates it into creative play.

Baby N thought the Loo was a perfect match for the Miss Rio Ottoman, a finalist for the 2004 IF Design Award and Ecodesign Award proving the adage “good design means that anything good will go with all other equally good things.”

I’m also pleased that the Loo’s sensible design seems to put children at ease with the sometimes stressful matter of potty training. I recently hosted our monthly toddler book club at my home and left our Loo in our living space as always. One of our pint sized guests used the Loo as her seat during our reading and her mother mentioned that she had had a previously traumatizing potty training experience and was refusing to sit on their little potty as home yet happily sat on the Loo. Baby N is so happy with her Loo that I recently tried to use it as a seat for some porch pumpkin pictures to text to grandparents. It seems that the only time Baby N DOESN’T want to sit on her Loo is when Mama is trying to snap photos!

What can I say? She’s happy hanging out on her Loo!

And then…

… this happened. That’s one tough potty!

Needing a Loo of your own or some expert advice on guiding your little one to potty success? If you’re in Austin or Chicago you are in luck! Every attendee at the Potty Training BCBU events will receive a Joovy Loo potty (retails at $40).

At press time, there are only TWO tickets remaining for the Austin seminar lead by Dr. Ari Brown of Baby 411/ Toddler 411 on September 27^th. Attendees will also receive a copy of Toddler 411. Purchase tickets now.

Chicago’s seminar, one of the most popular parenting events last spring, will be lead by Janeen Hayward of Swellbeing on October 1^st. Purchase tickets now.

Life unscripted: A girl, her best friend, and her potty. You just can’t make this stuff up!

Disclaimer: Joovy provided a Loo potty seat to me free of charge in exchange for my honest review. No other form of compensation was provided. The opinions and experiences expressed are strictly my own and were not guided or influenced by Joovy. BCB’s mission is to provide moms and moms-to-be with authentic experiences and advice.

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Category Archives: Mom Tips