Dear Baby…

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ashley 20 wks

By Ashley Logan

20 Weeks: Feeling Wonderment

Dear Baby,

Our 20 week appointment is coming up this week and we are so excited to see you again. From what I hear, this is an absolutely spectacular experience, especially for first time parents like me and your daddy. We will get to see your little arms and legs, fingers and toes and get a glimpse of the little person you are already starting to become. This will only be the second time we have seen you—the first you were just seven weeks new to us, and a little flashing blip on a screen. You are the love of our lives we have been carrying unknowingly in our hearts all along, and I’m in awe of the whole experience and feeling so much love for you already.

Not to say that I am not afraid. As I open up myself more and more to the reality of meeting you, my fears are creeping in as well, the biggest of which is not being present once you arrive. Did you know that Mommy owns a business? While my company was my first baby, I created it with you in mind from day one, hoping that my life would be flexible enough to raise you, while also providing for our family. But as I hustle through blog posts and client emails, when you arrive, I hope I remember to put down the computer, and let myself stare at your sweet face for hours. I’m told that these moments don’t last.

But there are fun things on my mind as well. Recently I started thinking about what types of things you will like once you finally get here. Last week I went to Gearapalooza in Chicago, and saw more baby products than I ever knew existed. And as I took in all of the information about new bottles and blankets and specialty baby shoes, I couldn’t help but imagine what type of person you will eventually be. Will you prefer a stroller with a bassinet or one that is smooth and steady for long jogs through the neighborhood? Or maybe you will like to snuggle against us in a comfortable baby carrier. Inspired by all that is available for you, Baby, I made the appointment to register just today.

And I’m not the only one who is already excited for your arrival. Friends and family members are already coming forward offering to host baby showers for you. One thing is for sure, you are going to be so loved. I think about how all of these wonderful gifts are going to fit into our little home and life together, which started me dreaming up ideas for your nursery. We have a lot of work to do to make it feel like yours, but once it’s ready, I hope you remember us reading books together in your room and singing along to songs we decide we love, no matter how much Daddy pretends to be annoyed at us.

So tomorrow we will see you again. This is the appointment when we could find out if you are a boy or a girl, but we decided to wait a few more weeks. We wanted to create our own family traditions, so we will find out together on Christmas morning—our first in the home that will eventually be yours. But more than anything, it was important to us to first relish in your little fingers and toes, healthy ears and nose, and be grateful for those things first—because truly you are a miracle.

So, sweet Baby, while you’ve got me wondering about so many things the last few weeks, the peace of mind of knowing that you are safe, healthy and growing strong is what I am thinking about most of all.

See you tomorrow.

Love, Your Mama