Toddler Temper Tantrum, Aisle 5

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By Lindsay Pinchuk, CEO + Founder, Bump Club and Beyond

Attention shoppers, ATTENTION SHOPPERS: Toddler meltdown happening in Aisle Five!

Do you ever have one of those days? Which brings me to my afternoon….

Since it was raining, I thought we (my Little and I) , would pick up my Big early and go to the grocery store. They love pushing the carts around and I figured it would be a productive way to spend some time together.

What was I thinking?

The trip started out great. Little in the big cart while Big was pushing the little cart. We made it halfway through the store before it started.

“I want to eat my fruit leather,” my oldest said.

“Let’s wait until we get into the car like we already talked about,” I replied back.

BOOM GOES THE CANNON. I didn’t even have to say “no,” the inference of ‘no’ was enough to set her off. I somehow remained calm through her crazy screams, put a bottle of Pinot Noir into my cart and managed to distract her long enough to get through the dairy aisle.

“I want to eat my fruit leather,” she said again.

I’m not sure why I was so adamant but I wanted to stick to my guns. “Let’s wait until we get into the car.”

This time the explosion was even bigger and Little got in on the action. Both started hysterically crying through the snack and wine aisle. You better believe I grabbed a Cab and a Sav Blanc too. (But don’t worry, I totally forgot about dinner.)

In the checkout line they both decide they want string cheese—different flavors of course. As the screaming escalated I busted open the cheese just to shut them up. My children had turned into birth control to the many young professionals surrounding us at the checkout of our local Trader Joe’s.

Of course in trying to get out of the store as fast as possible, I find myself trying to manage my two screaming kids AND help bag the groceries. At the same time, store employees are bagging for the young woman scrolling through Facebook on her phone to the left of me and the two, young, single guys chatting at the checkout to my right. “Thanks for helping bag,” the cashier said to me. Really?

We walk out to the parking lot, cheese sticks in hand, screams subsided (for now) and low and behold, the car next to me may as well be parked inside my vehicle. It was so close I couldn’t even open my door. And of course, there’s a big concrete pillar on the other side. I can’t even begin to describe what I had to do to load up the kids and the groceries, because I also forgot to take the jogging stroller out of my trunk before I left the house.

Finally, we’re on our way home. In gridlock in 5pm downtown Chicago traffic.

One of my favorite songs comes on Sirius. Radio “I love this song!” I exclaim. Big starts screaming, “I want Kidz Bop.” Little starts crying, “ No, no, no.” I turn up the volume to drown out their continual twenty minutes of protests and cries.

I’m not even going to say, “And how was your day?” Because I know we’ve all been there, I KNOW that you understand, and I also KNOW that your baby doesn’t poop flowers and rainbows. You should know that mine doesn’t either.

I also know that I now have three awesome bottles of wine I can’t wait to try after bedtime. Wanna come over?

Not only is Lindsay Pinchuk the CEO + Founder of Bump Club and Beyond, she is also a member.  Lindsay lives in Chicago with her husband, daughters, ages 5 and 2, and her loving golden retriever.