“Brablem” Solving: Situation Mom Boobs

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By Jennifer Curnes, BCBlogger

Excuse me for being so direct, but you’re wearing the wrong size bra. It doesn’t even matter that I’ve never met you, I just know. Because if you’re reading this, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re either pregnant right now or have given birth in the last few years. And this means two things:

  • That your beautiful boobies have changed in size and shape and that you’re still wearing the same bras from yesteryear.
  • It’s probably one specific ratty bra that you wear day after day after day.

mom boobs JuneBugsMumma

photo: JuneBugMumma

I know this because I worked in the lingerie industry and have fitted hundreds of women of every shape and size and this is the same exact story each time. Your band is so stretched out that you can use it as a sling shot and your cups are either too big or your cups runneth over and you’ve created a double boob situation. That’s the reality that plagues most women. Just because your boobs don’t sit up like they used to doesn’t mean they still can’t look great. You’d be amazed at what a good bra can do for your self esteem. Your clothes will fit better, your back will feel better, and people will start asking if you’ve lost weight. It’s pretty much the easiest way to look like you’ve lost ten pounds instantly. As Ina Garten says, “who wouldn’t like that?”

Then why are women so reluctant to get some new bras that fit? I’ve heard every excuse in the book but I don’t buy any of them. So here are the most common excuses I’ve heard and why they don’t hold up.

Bye- Bye BoobiesBy far the most common excuse I have heard is that you have no boobs left to fit into a bra. Yes, I know that popping out kiddos has created your very own “deflategate”. You claim you have smaller boobs than a prepubescent teenage girl, so a bralette or flimsy sports bra will do just fine. NO! All the more reason to get yourself in a new bra that makes you look fab. There’s a 99% chance that you’re wearing a band size that’s way too big for your frame, so when I put you in a 30 or 32 band size instead of the 34 or 36 that’s you’re currently wearing, your cup size automatically goes up. So women are pleasantly surprised when they think they are an A cup and leave with a bra tag that says D or even DD. You go, Dolly!

You’re basically Jessi Spano and “there’s never any time” I understand that going to a good bra store to get a professional fitting takes time. Child-free time. And I understand that there’s probably a million other things that you’d rather use your babysitter money for. But, come on, your gorgeous boobies deserve some love….they’ve been through a lot! And your undergarments lay the foundation for your whole outfit to look good. So even if you’re running around town in yoga pants and a milk-stained t-shirt every day, you’ll look better. And it’s amazing how much more excited your husband will be to babysit when you tell him you have to go buy some new sexy lingerie. It’s a good excuse to get a much needed break. Make a day of it and have an uninterrupted solo lunch when you’re done. I promise you’ll come home feeling refreshed and perky.

One Stomach Flu Away From… Your Goal WeightAnd then there’s the “I’m going to lose weight soon so I I’ll just wait until that happens so I won’t waste money.”  OMG, please don’t wait! Because if you’re anything like me, this weight loss journey is moving slower than labor before the Pitocin kicks in. You deserve a bra that fits the YOU that’s running around town TODAY. Plus, like I said, you’ll look thinner instantly. And while you’re getting fitted, get yourself fitted for a good sports bra, too. It’s hard to get a decent workout in when you’re getting smacked in the face with your boobs or feeling insecure about all that bouncing. And, trust me, a traditional sports bra uniboob doesn’t look good on ANYONE.

Mama Mia!And last but not least, lets talk about pregnancy boobs. If I had a dollar for every time a pregnant women told me she didn’t need to wear underwire. YES!  You do! And now more than ever! Your boobs are likely growing with each passing month and they need to be supported if you want to give them a fighting chance post pregnancy. Underwire doesn’t mean uncomfortable if you’re wearing the right size. And don’t forget about a properly fitted nursing bra. There are so many cute choices available now that will allow you to nurse comfortably and not feel matronly.

I encourage you to do something for yourself for a change and go get some bras that fit. Head over to Nordstrom or any other lingerie store that provides professional fittings. (HINT: You shouldn’t be buying your bra from a store that also sells toilet cleaner and baby formula.) You’ll leave with a handful of bras that will work for almost every scenario. Most likely it will be two nudes, one black, and one colorful one for when you’re feeling flirty. (that one may not get as much use) And you should also leave with a bottle of lingerie wash because you won’t be throwing these bras in the wash with your yoga pants. You will treat them with respect. And speaking of respect, you’ll walk out the door with you head (and your boobs!) held high. BRAVO!

Jennifer Curnes is a stay at home mom of two living in Chicago. When she’s not bra fitting or counting down the minutes until bedtime you could find her eating Nutella out of the jar with a spoon or writing about it at http://nutellaoutofthejarwithaspoon.tumblr.com