To My Son Aydin,

From the very beginning, gratitude has been closely tied to how I feel about my world with you in it. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be your mama, but as you grew inside of me, so did our bond. In those wee hours of the morning, you came into the world gently and carefully as though you had your own plan. As I looked into your eyes I knew the world (and mine) would forever be changed.

The days to follow would be hard; filled with uncertainty, fear, lots of tears and for the first time fully relinquishing control. I did not know if I would hold you again. If you would fulfill all of my dreams for you, but I knew that I would love you forever and I was grateful for those few moments we had shared. The doctors reassured me you would be OK but it still felt uncertain, the months to follow filled with medication, doctors visits, strange machines, lots of sleepless nights, and the fear still so real.

Each passing moment and milestone of the first year felt like we made it one step further on our journey into the unknown, like a person thrown into the wild, I was clueless how to survive. Each coo and cry our own language of survival; would we make it out alive???  My heart melted over and over again with each step, soon you were crawling, then walking, blabbing and then it happened “MAMA”. One year, then two and now three passed and here you are my sweet child. I have experienced life all over through your eyes; the eyes of a boy filled with smiles, laughter and a fervor for life that I never knew existed.

You have taught me many things in your short life– laughter truly is the best medicine, poop is always a funny word (no matter the context), fish have feelings too, and it is ok to not always be in control of every situation.  I learned sometimes just “rolling with it” leads to the best adventures, mixing m&m’s and skittles is a perfectly acceptable snack, and that a mother’s love for her son is the truest love imaginable. I am forever grateful for the mornings you wake me up with sweet kisses, and your soft touch, telling me I am beautiful and reminding me of your pure innocence. I am grateful for the days that seem so challenging and yet you remind me that together everything is immediately better and that the impossible is actually very possible. I am grateful that you have given me the ultimate drive to chase my own dreams in the hopes that I one day make you proud to be my son. I am grateful for our true love, and the feeling that I am the only person in the world who can ever love you this much (your future spouse may try to tell you otherwise), and I know you are the only person in the world who can love me unconditionally as you do.

Love, Mom

Lale Ketcham is the owner of Windy City Bebe.